Nobody can say with confidence, because India has no reliable national measure of extramarital affairs. Self-reported survey data such as NFHS-5 shows non-marital sex is reported by a small minority, likely under-reported. What has clearly changed is opportunity and visibility: smartphones, migration, workplaces and openness have made affairs easier to begin and to discover.
Key takeaways
- There is no dependable national statistic on how many married Indians have affairs.
- NFHS-5 asks about sex with non-spouse, non-cohabiting partners, but includes unmarried people.
- App-company 'infidelity surveys' are marketing, not representative research.
- Technology, migration and changing gender roles increase both opportunity and discovery.
- There is no reliable data on how long affairs last; individual cases vary widely.
Is cheating actually becoming more common in India?
The honest answer is that we do not know for sure. India does not collect a reliable national statistic on extramarital affairs, and the surveys that come closest rely on people reporting private behaviour to an interviewer, which almost always leads to under-reporting. Claims that a fixed percentage of Indian spouses cheat usually trace back to small online polls.
What can be said with more confidence is that the conditions around marriage have changed: more people work alongside the opposite sex, live away from family, and carry a private device that connects them to anyone. Those changes make affairs easier to start, and also far easier to discover, which is why they feel more common. This page looks at the evidence and the causes; for practical help, see our guide on what to do if your spouse is having an affair.
What does the available data actually tell us?
The most authoritative source is the National Family Health Survey (NFHS-5, 2019-21), conducted for the Ministry of Health and Family Welfare by the International Institute for Population Sciences. Among other things, it asks women and men whether, in the previous 12 months, they had sexual intercourse with someone who was neither their spouse nor living with them.
As widely reported from the survey's findings, about 4% of men and 0.5% of women answered yes. Two cautions matter before anyone calls this an 'affair rate':
- It is not limited to married people. The question covers adults of all marital statuses, so it includes unmarried people in relationships.
- It is self-reported in a face-to-face interview, often in the respondent's home, on a sensitive subject. Under-reporting, especially by women, is very likely.
So the figure is useful as a lower-end indication that non-marital sex is reported by a minority, not as a count of extramarital affairs.
| Source people cite | What it measures | Why it cannot settle the question |
|---|---|---|
| NFHS-5 (2019-21) | Self-reported sex with a non-spouse, non-cohabiting partner in the last 12 months | Includes unmarried people; sensitive questions are under-reported |
| Surveys published by dating or 'discreet affair' apps | Opinions of their own users or online panels | Self-selected samples, commercial interest, methods rarely disclosed |
| Divorce and family court data | Cases filed and decided | National data grids do not publish the grounds pleaded, so adultery cases are not counted separately |
| Crime statistics | Offences registered by police | Adultery is not a crime since 2018, so it is not recorded as one |
Why does it feel as if affairs are on the rise?
Even without a rising number, several forces make infidelity more visible than it was a generation ago.
- Digital trails: messages, photos, payments and location data mean affairs are discovered more often and faster.
- Public conversation: films, web series and social media discuss affairs openly, and the 2018 Joseph Shine judgment put the subject on front pages.
- More willingness to act: spouses, particularly women with their own income, are less willing to stay silent and more willing to seek counselling, separation or divorce.
- Reporting bias: unusual cases make news; quiet reconciliations and stable marriages do not.
More discovery and more discussion can easily look like more affairs. Without long-run data collected the same way, it is impossible to separate the two.
Why do extramarital affairs happen?
There is rarely a single cause. The reasons commonly described by people who have had affairs, and by those who counsel couples, fall into a few broad groups:
- Emotional distance: feeling unheard, unappreciated or lonely within the marriage, sometimes for years.
- Unresolved conflict: repeated fights, resentment over in-laws or money, or a marriage that never recovered from a crisis.
- Mismatch in intimacy: differences in physical or emotional needs that the couple cannot talk about.
- Opportunity: long separations for work, travel, late shifts and private phones lower the barriers.
- Life stages: the arrival of children, mid-life questions, illness or bereavement can shift priorities.
- Individual factors: thrill-seeking, low commitment, or a pattern carried from before the marriage.
Many affairs grow out of emotional closeness before anything physical happens; our page on emotional affairs explores that stage. Understanding causes explains an affair; it does not excuse deception or shift the blame to the hurt spouse.
How has Indian society changed in ways that affect fidelity?
Several long-running changes in Indian life alter the setting in which marriages operate, without any single one 'causing' affairs:
- Migration for work: spouses living in different cities, or one partner in the Gulf or abroad, for long periods. See our guide to cheating in long distance relationships.
- Mixed workplaces: more men and women work closely together, travel together and socialise after hours, a setting covered in workplace affairs.
- Nuclear households in cities: fewer relatives around means more privacy and less informal oversight.
- Smartphones and apps: private messaging, social media and dating apps make contact with former partners and strangers easy.
- Changing expectations: many couples now expect companionship and emotional fulfilment from marriage, not only stability, and feel the gap more sharply when it is missing.
How long do extramarital affairs usually last?
There is no reliable Indian research on this, and figures quoted online are usually unsourced. Experience across cases suggests a wide spread: some affairs are brief and end once discovered or once the initial excitement fades, while others continue for years, sometimes as a parallel household. Factors that tend to matter include whether the affair partner is also married, whether it is mainly emotional, how much secrecy it requires, and whether it is discovered. Anyone quoting a precise 'average duration' for India should be asked where the number came from.
Is having an affair legal in India now?
Adultery is no longer a crime. In Joseph Shine v. Union of India (2018) the Supreme Court struck down IPC Section 497, and the Bharatiya Nyaya Sanhita, 2023 contains no adultery offence. But an affair still has civil consequences: it is a ground for divorce under the Hindu Marriage Act and the Special Marriage Act, and it can affect maintenance where a wife is 'living in adultery'. Read more on whether adultery is a crime and legal action against a cheating spouse.
What does this mean for a marriage under strain?
National trends matter less than what is happening in your own home. If you are worried about drift in your marriage, the practical steps are the same whatever the statistics say:
- Talk early about loneliness, conflict or intimacy before it hardens into distance.
- Seek counselling together or individually; many family courts also refer couples to counsellors.
- Agree boundaries around work travel, former partners and online contact that both of you find fair.
- If you suspect an affair, avoid spying, which is illegal, and take legal advice before acting.
- Get facts lawfully where needed: a verified detective on Hire Your Detective can carry out a lawful post-matrimonial investigation based on observation in public places.
Bottom line
Extramarital affairs are neither as rare as tradition once suggested nor as universal as viral surveys claim. Reliable national data is limited, and the best available figures are self-reported and not specific to married couples. What is clear is that technology, migration, workplaces and shifting expectations have changed both the opportunity for affairs and the chance of discovering them. For any one couple, the useful question is not the national trend but what is happening in their own marriage.
Sources & official links
This guide is general information, not legal advice. Laws and procedures change, and every case is different — speak to a lawyer about your situation. In an emergency, call 112.